Pocahontavatar: A Review of Two Wonderful, Identical Films

Let me first say this: I think that it is unnecessary to spend 300 million dollars on anything unless it's a cure to a fatal disease, feeding those skinny kids with big bellies or buying buckets of water to douse a litter of burning puppies. Seriously. That's the only time when people should throw that much money at one thing. That being said... Avatar was totally badass. It was also badass 15 years ago when it was Pocahontas. So, I am going to kill two birds with one stone and, because I do not know how to make a digital venn diagram, review both films at the same time.

Oh. Minor Spoiler Alert. (Though if you do not know how Avatar is going to end ten seconds after it's begun, you are probably not intelligent enough to be seeing a PG-13 movie.)

The film opens with an unrealistically handsome leading man talking about how he longs for adventure and a fresh start in The New World/Pandora, a planet in a distant universe. The dashing hero has a big handicap: he is paralyzed from the waist down/he hates Jews even though he works in the film industry (it's Mel Gibson did the voice of John Smith. IMDB it.) There is a British Governor/Scarred Southern Colonel who is in charge of the mission and wants to rape the fertile new land, kill the indigenous people and generally likes shooting shit. He is also obsessed with finding gold/unobtainium (no... that's really what it's called in Avatar. I can not make this up.) The indigenous people are Savages/Hostiles. They don't know the true value of the land they live on. OR DO THEY?!

The leading man gets lost after singing a song/after his brain is transferred into a huge, blue alien and some weird roach-jaguar makes him jump off of a waterfall. He doesn't know how to deal with his beautiful, albeit strange and dangerous, surroundings. Enter Pocahontas/Neytiri, a beautiful native who is coincidentally the Princess of her tribe. Pocahontas/Na'Vi is skeptical of this pale face/paraplegic in a blue alien's body. How ignorant he is! He does not know how to sing with all the colors of the wind/he does not know how to jump off trees and swing from branches like an orangutan. That's why Pocahontas/Neytiri must sing to him as she leads him through a gracefully animated montage/ must call him ignorant as little flying jellyfish land on his skin. It's really pretty. I bet it's even prettier stoned. (I know for a fact that one of these films IS prettier when you're stoned. Guess which one.)

Ultimately, John Smith/Jake Scully learns how paint with all the voices of the mountain/attach his hair to the tentacles of weird dragon like things and fly them with his mind. This impresses Pocahontas/Neytiri. And she realizes that she has fallen in lurve with this bangin' foreigner. So, in a gesture of trust, she takes him to the most sacred place of her people: Grandmother Willow/Telepathic-Tentacle Tree. Grandmother Willow/Telepathic-Tentacle Tree says "que, que na-to-rah, you will understand,"/"This planet is all one living thing." John Smith and Pocahontas kiss because their love transcends race./Jake Sully and Neytiri do it because their love transcends species. (At least... I think they do it. I'm not really sure. They might just touch tentacles. It fades out before anything gross really happens.)

This union pisses a lot of people off. Namely, the princess' betrothed: Kocoum/Tsu'tey. They hate this Pale Face/Avatar. How could the Princess fall in love with an outsider? What an insult to the tribe! What a personal affront! So, Kocoum gets violent and attacks John Smith, causing Thomas (the hottest cartoon ever) to shoot the enraged Native American/Tsu'tey decides that Jake Skully is not that bad. I mean, whatevskies.

So, lots of shit happens that makes us question who the savages really are. Not that we seriously questioned who the savages are. I mean, the people who can talk to animals and are all zen with the earth and are all skinny and tan/blue are obviously the good guys, right? And the Fat British Guy/Trigger Happy Muscle Man with a Southern Drawl is obviously the bad guy, right? Now there are lots of kick-ass, mind-blowing fight sequences happening/everyone starts to sing in cannon. Lots of people die, horrible, bloody deaths/everything is solved non-violently when the wind blows, because it's Disney.

There is a resolution. The Virginia Company sailors realize the error of their ways and return to England/the Big Blue People lead the Earthlings back to their ships at gunpoint, ordering them never to return, on pain of death.

And everything turns out hunky dory! Except for when the Europeans came back to the New World in droves and brutally kill the Native American people and their culture. So, when Mr. Cameron decides to make another movie in ten years, I think we can expect the twelve ft. tall, blue Na'Vai being herded onto reservations and opening casinos.

xo.

Decade Faves Part 2: Dreams Come True

My dear reader, I would like to open this post the way countless internet posts have opened before me: I would like to describe what I am wearing. Darling, sweet, delicious reader, I am wearing... a Harry Potter Snuggie. A. Harry. Potter. Snuggie. Of course, unless you have been living under a rock made of steel and ignorance, you know what Snuggies are because you've seen those emmy-worthy commercials. Regular folks (just like you and me!) are bogged down by their ever so cumbersome blankets are unable to go about their daily activities. Then, floating into their lives like the deus ex machina in a Greek tragedy comes the glorious SNUGGIE- a blanket with sleeves! Suddenly, it's easy to read or talk on the phone or roasting things on spits in your backyard fire pit.

Now, I enjoy my Snuggie ironically of course. But that's what this decade was about, wasn't it? Ubiquitous merchandising on useless shit. The combination of the decade's most pervasive fictional character spread across an object that typifies the laziness that grew exponentially the past ten years.

Speaking of useless, mind-numbing crap:

WORST BASTARDIZATION OF REALLY COOL MYTHOLOGY:
THE TWILIGHT SERIES: Listen. I was fourteen once, and I lived for Anne Rice's The Vampire Chronicles. Vampires are awesome as a rule. They must kill to stay alive, and very often this gives them pause (though not often enough to stop them from killing, thus making them badasses with heart.) Also, they live forever and look really hot for all eternity. Also, they can' come out during the day because they will disintegrate/explode/melt/whatevskies. Also, they're traditionally very sexual beings. Also, they suck necks which is indisputably hot. Do you know what vampires don't do? THEY DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE. THEY DO NOT IMPREGNATE CHICKS BECAUSE DEAD PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE VIABLE SPERM. THEY DO NOT. GO. TO HIGH SCHOOL.

Girls, I get it. I really do. I'm harsh because I care. Someone needs to tell you that **all Twilight is is fan-fiction (and bad fanfic at that) that doesn't bother with a canonical text.** Read the Vampire Chronicles. Read Lord of the Rings. Read His Dark Materials. Or stop reading altogether. Just stop talking about Twilight.

FAVORITE BADASSES OF THE DECADE:
1- CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW: Now, as Johnny Depp's soulmate, I'm undeniably biased. But this is the movie that made Johnny Depp JOHNNY FUCKING DEPP A-LIST MOVIE STAR BITCHES...and with good reason. Johnny was almost fired from the Pirates of the Caribbean set several times for interpreting the charming, swashbuckling hero in the script as a drunken bastard son of Keith Richards and Angela Lansbury. But Depp staggered and slurred his way into our hearts, creating an american cinematic icon. He made pirates cool again (before Somalia made them shitty again.) And we'll just pretend that the second two movies in the series weren't such awful, stinky disasters, okay? Okay.
2- VOLDEMORT: Okay, I know that I've said a hell of a lot abut Harry Potter already, but how could I not? This decade was the golden age of fantasy novels and flicks, and so much of that is owed to JK Rowling. And what good is an epic tale without an epic villain? Voldemort is not the most complicated of dudes, he's just pretty effing evil. Sure, we gain insight into his past late in the series, but ultimately, he's just an evil, power-hungry badass motherfucker.
3- TONY SOPRANO: Intimidating even while snorting like a pug and wearing a dirty, white bathrobe.
4- SULLY: Some people call him a hero. And he is, indisputably, a hero. However, I think landing a plane in the Hudson River is not only heroic, but also totally badass.
5- THE DIXIE CHICKS: These three petite blonds from Texas have more balls than any man I know. Country music is their bread and butter and they still had the guts to say of the war in Iraq "We do not want this war, this violence, and we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas." Radios stopped playing their music and they lost a good portion of their fan base. But I think that was a quintessential rock and roll move, and those little ladies are totally badass.

FAVORITE BADASS NAMED STEPHEN COLBERT:
STEPHEN COLBERT: I am a proud member of the Colbert Nation. He harpoons pompous talking heads like Bill O'Reily and Glenn *vomit* Beck by becoming them in glorious parody. He coined vocab words such as "truthiness" and "Lincolnesque." He takes pride in his balls. He took his show to Iraq for a week where President Obama ordered him to shave his head. He gets members of the CM to ban together and get shit named after him, like a bridge in Norway and a treadmill in a NASA space station. And I'm sorry, I think he's a good looking man. Even with his bum-ear.

MOST RIDICULOUS ACCENTS AND DIALECTS OF THE DECADE
1-THE CAST OF TRUE BLOOD: Anna Paquin has an Oscar and a Golden Globe. You would think she could spring for a vocal coach.
2- HUGH LAURIE AS DR. HOUSE: Dude. Have you heard this guy's voice in real life? It's like Jeremy Irons and Julia Child's accents had a baby. But as Dr. House, Laurie is convincingly New Jersey. Princeton NJ, not Tony Soprano NJ.
3-ENVER GJOKAJ AS VICTOR ON DOLLHOUSE: A doll is a blank canvas onto which an infinite personalities can be imprinted and Enver Gjokaj, with a name almost ridiculous as his ability to switch dialects on a dime, is also yummy as hell.
4- ARIANNA HUFFINGTON: I don't really feel like I need to qualify this one. Yes, she's ridiculously articulate, but I can't help but laugh whenever she stops by the Colbert Report or the Daily Show. If you've never heard this woman speak go on youtube and look her up.
5- PHILLIP SEYMORE HOFFMAN AS TRUMAN CAPOTE: For someone twice Tru's size, Phil sure does sound like him.

FIVE FAVORITE VIRAL SENSATIONS
1- DR. HORRIBLE'S SING ALONG BLOG: NPH as a nebbishy evil scientist. Nathian Fillion as a douchebag superhero that sings about how there's a hero in "you and you and mostly me but you." An Evil League of Evil. Bad Horse. Loves. Loves. Loves.
2- A VERY POTTER MUSICAL: As reluctant as I am to give any credit to the musical theatre dept. at Michigan, this student written full length (yes, full length) fan musical is soooo good. Featuring Voldemort and Professor Quirell back to back in the same costume, a couple of horrible wigs and a petit chick in a short blond wig as Draco Malfoy. Especially when it's bad. Watch it. It'll take you a couple of days, but it's worth it.
3- SHOES BY KELLY: Omigod Shehs. Please pretend that you didn't walk around for months saying it. Please.
4- THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: This arguably kick-started Andy Sandberg's career, but I think that the unsung hero of this video is Chris Parnel. He has me from the gangsta way he says "hello" when he picks up the phone. You'd think I'm Aaron Burr from the way I'm dropping Benjamins.
5- DICK IN A BOX: Step 1, put a hole in a box...

TOP FIVE WTF?! MOMENTS THAT I COULDN'T MAKE UP IF I TRIED
1- THE SUPREME COURT STOPS THE RECOUNT OF THE 2000 ELECTION: Every vote counts. JK! WTF?!
2-BERNIE MADOFF JACKS EVERYONE'S SHIT: Thanks, Bernie. That's what the Jewish community needs. A Jewish investment banker stealing 50 billion (with a "b"!) from to quote Jon Stewart, "Everyone that has ever been to a seder." There are practically no charities in New York unharmed by this asshole's greed. Because there's not enough anti-semitism in the world. I mean... WTF?!
3- BALLOON BOY: A little obvious, I know. But what kind of sociopaths tell their six year old son to hide in the garage while mommy and daddy go and pull the fast one on the country by literally making them stare at something shiny for three hours. I do really love how when it came out that they "met in acting school" everyone kind of went "Oh. That makes sense." Balloon Boy. WTF?!
4- BARACK OBAMA IS ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: I was on the Long Island Railroad after work one night, when I got a text that Obama had officially won. A kind of murmur went through the train car. Unable to contain myself I screamed... "OBAMA!" and everyone broke out into cheers. Except for a couple of old biddies in ugly hats. Not all WTFs are bad. Who could have predicted at the beginning of the decade that we would end the decade with a black president. Thank you, Oprah. And WTF?!
5- A CHIMP RIPS SOMEONE'S FACE OFF: W. T. F.

FIVE FAVORITE ALBUMS OF THE DECADE
1- I'M WIDE AWAKE, IT'S MORNING -BRIGHT EYES: Oh, Conor Oberst. Only you know my pain. Seriously, this gorgeous emo sonofabitch is one of the great songwriters of our generation. This pre-Cassadaga album has a little more than a hint of the old Conor angst with slightly cohesive musicality than older Bright Eyes albums like "Lifted or the Story Beneath the Soil" or "Fevers and Mirrors." Once you listen to track one, you'll fall in love with him because you will think that no one knows you like he does. Well, back off, bitch. Master Floppy Hair Green Eyes is mine.
2- YES, VIRGINIA - THE DRESDEN DOLLS: Weimar burlesque cabaret angry chick punk rock? Is that a category? It is now. And NO ONE puts on a live show like Amanda Palmer. Do you hear me?! NO ONE!
3- POSES - RUFUS WAINWRIGHT: Who hasn't sat down on a piano bench and tried to pluck out the opening chords of "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk?"
4- BEGIN TO HOPE - REGINA SPEKTOR: REgina Spektor is one of those artists, like Kate Nash, that you listen to once and you go "Okay. Cool." Then you put the album away until a few days later, alone in your car you find that you can't get one of the tracks out of your head. So you put it on and listen to it again. And again the next day. Then you realize that you're humming it in the shower or before bed or... let's say... I don't know, writing a blog that no one reads. The song "Apres Moi" is a great example of this.
5- BEN FOLDS- BEN FOLDS: He's a killer songwriter and musician, but what really distinguishes him from the rest is his killer wit songs real heart. With songs like "Uncle Walter" and "Underground" juxtaposed with "Video" and "Boxing" it's an emotional beating.

FAVORITE GAY ICON OF THE DECADE:
It's a tie!!
1- ELLEN: Ellen! After coming out and subsequently getting offed of her sitcom in 1998 , Ellen made this decade her bitch lover. Sharp, articulate and looking damn good in tailored trousers and converse, Ellen danced her way in our hearts! YES. I SAID IT. SHE DANCED HER WAY INTO OUR HEARTS. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT.
2- LADY GAGA: Oh, if only I was still in college and could write a paper about her. She is the Cher we have been waiting for. She is a Meta-pop star and a full-fledged goddess.

And now... this weeks round of "Marry, Boff Kill" starring the three writer/actors of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Rob Mcellhenney, Charlie Day and Glenn Howerton.

MARRY: Charlie Day. I know I didn't include him in my picks of the decade. The truth is, ten years is a long time. But I think that he's the most talented comedic actor on television today. Sure, he's not the tallest, but he cleans up nice. Also, he composed the Sunny Musical: The NIghtman Cometh. He's the perfect, scruffy little hubbie. It's implied that you can also sleep with your husband in this game, right?

BOFF: Glenn Howerton. Just the way I like them: gorgeous, hilarious, Julliard trained, beautiful singing voice... and gay. Still, it's just a boff.

KILL: It truly pains me to kill Rob Mcellhenney. Truly. He is the brains behind the whole Sunny operation. He created the show, often directs it and is the head writer on the staff. So why kill him? Because I figure there are already five kick-ass seasons of Sunny that he would leave as a legacy. And he's the only one left.

Who will I marry/boff/kill on the next entry? Hm...

Happy Hanukkah, he-brews and she-brews! Menorah... I don't even know her! Har har har.

xo.

Faves of the Decade

2000-2009: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I consider myself to be a true child of the 2000's, commencing the brutal journey that was high school in 2000, graduating from college in 2008 and spending the last year of the decade stumbling through the (way overrated) "real world". The notable trends of the past ten years will always coincide with my memories of inching my way toward adulthood. This was my decade, bitches. So, in true Entertainment Weekly Fashion, here are a few my favorite things.

FIVE FAVE FILMS:
1-THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY: Every year on December 18th I'm all atwitter, a knee jerk reaction from the days I was made to wait an agonizing year between the Dec. premiere of installments. New Zealand's favorite hobbit, Peter Jackson, succeeded in a task that most thought would be impossible as trudging barefoot through Mordor lugging a piece of epic bling: he made fantasy flicks cool again. Fun Fact: Did you know that Orlando Bloom is completely CGI??
2- ALMOST FAMOUS- Billy Krudup may be a dick and a home-wrecker, but I can watch him scream "I am a gold god!" from a rooftop a hundred times. And I have.
3- FINDING NEMO- I giggle like a five year old and weep like the pathetic woman I am with every viewing. And Willem Dafoe as a jaded angelfish? Priceless.
4-GANGS OF NEW YORK- That's right. I. Effing. Love. This movie. I know, I know, it's a half hour too long, but my homeboy, Danny Day, is so obscenely good in this film, I forgive it all its flaws. Even Cameron Diaz.
5-MOULIN ROUGE: Okay, shut up. Sure the whore with the heart of gold dies, sure they romanticize rape, sure Nicole Kidman can't sing. But the 14 year old girl in me will always trump the student in Dr. Francesca Coppa's "post-modern" class. And Moulin Rouge will always be one of my guilty pleasures.

FIVE FAVE MUSICALS:
1- ASSASSINS: This killer (ba-da-bum!) revival changed the way I view musical theatre. I cannot think of a higher compliment than that. Also, Dennis O'hare.
2- CAROLINE OR CHANGE: A musical starring Tonya Pinkins with a book by Tony Kuschner. A fierce doo-wop trio. Need I say more?
3- URINETOWN: I saw it three times and I almost canceled my semester abroad so I could stay at school and audition for Muhlenberg College's mainstage production. I didn't. I went to London. And part of me will always wonder what might have been...
4- THE 25th ANNUAL PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE: I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in a theatre. Ever. Wait. I have. But not at a musical.
5- THE LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA: "And then... the pony kicked her... in the head..."

FIVE BIGGEST THEATRICAL DISAPPOINTMENTS:
1- THE GODSPELL THAT NEVER HAPPENED: Teaser posters plastered all over the city said "Prepare Ye." Oh the irony.
2- INTO THE WOODS REVIVAL: Really, Vanessa Williams? Really? One of the meatiest roles written for a women in contemporary musical theatre and your dress upstaged you? Really.
3- WICKED: OMGSHUTUPLIZYOUSUCK! Sorry. That's how I feel and I regret nothing.
4- THE FROGS: Susan Stroman, Stephen Sondheim, Nathan Lane, Roger Bart... what could possibly go wrong?
5- GUYS AND DOLLS: I've loved this show since I was a baby and my mother sang "Bushel and a Peck" to me before bed. (I used to think it was one word... "Bushelannapeck.) I also really love the Gilmore Girls. But Faith Prince Lauren Grahmn is not.

FIVE FAVE PLAYS:
1- AUGUST OSAGE COUNTY: I'M! RUNNING! THINGS! NOOOOWWWW!
2- DOUBT: Oh, Cherry Jones. You are a talented lady.
3- PROOF: Before Mary Louise Parker's monotone became monotonous.
4- THE PILLOWMAN: The eye goes to Goldblum.
5- FROST/NIXON: Frank Langella. Frank Fucking Langella.
Runner Up: HEDDA GABLER (NYTW): Elizabeth Marvel is a goddess that deserves to be worshipped on a pedestal.

FAVORITE YO-YO OF A CAREER:
AL GORE: He lost the Presidential election of 2004, even though he won. And then he got a Nobel Prize. That's a pretty crazy ass decade.

FAVORITE THEATRICAL REPERTORY COMPANY:
THE ROYAL SHAKESPEARE COMPANY: WHAT? Liz, that's like... way too easy. Well, shut up three people who will read this. Because any company ambitious enough to perform all of Shakespeare's Histories in Rep (Jonathan Slinger played Richard II and Richard III, sometimes in the same day) deserves mad props. I mean, mad props aside from being disputably the best classical company in the world.

FAVE FIVE FASHION-Y TRENDS
1-BIG ASS SUNGLASSES: A hangover's best friend. I read on textsfromlastnight.com that "big sunglasses do not fix fat." Well, I beg to differ, drunken whore. I beg to differ.
2- UGGS: I resisted them for so long. Through all of high school, I turned my nose up. But I have to admit, these ugly ass boots are the most comfortable things I have ever worn and go with just about anything. I'm waiting for them to come out with functional Dress Uggs so I never have to ear heels again.
3- SPANX: Yeah, it's a bit of a stretch to call this a "fashion" trend, but they are something you wear. And for the 85% of women whose thighs touch when they walk, they are a godsend.
4- THE RETURN OF DARK NAIL POLISH: This just squeezed its way into this decade, but I am so grateful it did. Not that I ever stopped wearing dark nail polish, I'm just glad whoever makes these decisions deemed it cool again.
5- HUGE PURSES: I really don't need to qualify this. It just makes me happy and my life easier.

FIVE FAVE TV SHOWS
1- THE DAILY SHOW: Defining itself during the election of 2000, or as Jon Stewart called it "Indecision 2000" this show went from an extended Weekend Update, highlighting the likes of cat fashion shows to one of the most venerated political programs on TV. Oh yeah. And it's fucking hilarious.
2- THE WEST WING: Liberal polical fan fiction at its very best. Bartlett for America.
3- THE SOPRANOS: Because I would forgive Christopher Multisanti anything. Even beating Drea di Matteo to a bloody pulp and shooting Tim Daily square in the chest.
4- LOST: OMGWTF... POLAR BEAR!
5- DEADWOOD: Motherfucking Ian cocksucking McShane... bitches.
RUNNERS UP: Arrested Development and 30 Rock.


FIVE FAVE CARTOONS:
1- SOUTH PARK: Watching the evolution of Eric Cartman is fascinating. He goes from a fat dumbass to an anti-semetic, evil mastermind. It's the opposite of the way Stewie Griffin goes from being an evil mastermind to... well... a gay dude.
2- DARIA: A show way too smart for MTV. Nothing speaks to High School angst like Daria.
3- THE VENTURE BROTHERS: Seriously. Watch this show. It's the smartest show on TV.
4- HOME MOVIES: Brendan Small is an effing genius.
5- THE FIARLY ODD PARENTS: So, this generation of children doesn't have The Rugrats or Hey Arnold or Rocko's Modern Life. This show is almost as clever and just as silly.

FAVORITE POLITICAL PROTEST:
QUEERS MARCH ON WASHINGTON: In the fall of this year, the LGBT community, organized by the Human Rights Campaign, marched for equal protection under the law. I called it the "Strut on Washington": Fox News called it "Sunday."

FIVE FAVE BOOKS:
1- HARRY POTTER SERIES: Okay, listen. I'm not saying it's Tolstoy, people. I'm not even saying it's Anne Rice. But how often do you see kids lining up at bookstores all over the world at midnight for the release of a book? (You know, those little square things with pages in them. Like a paper Kindle.) I read an article in Time Magazine about how the only one that loses in this secular series is God, because young Harry never prays. I beg to differ. There is an indisputable theology (and afterlife) in the Potter series. I mean, hello: Sirius Black and the mysterious (::cough:: unexplained ::coughcough::) curtain. Really, it's a series about faith in the intangible. Sure, It's not a Judaeo-Christian world (they do celebrate Christmas at Hogwarts, but it's really more about sparkly tinsel and eggnog.) Harry is constantly finding ways to connect with the love ones he has lost and sometimes, he does actually contact them. Mostly, it's a story about an average child thrust into impossibly harsh circumstances, surviving on his inner strength and (literally) the power of love. If you ask me, that universal message is far more important than preaching any specific religion. And Snape is awesome.
2- AMERICAN GODS BY NEIL GAIMAN: When immigrants come to America, they bring their old world gods with them. And then, they quickly abandon them ("[America] is a bad place for Gods") to gods of the internet and the telephone and television. Dude. Read this book.
3- OLIVE KITTERIDGE BY ELIZABETH STROUT: Deservedly winning the 2009 Pulitzer for Prize for fiction, it is a series of vignettes set in a town in Maine, where every character is somehow touched by the misanthropic Olive Kitteridge. It's heartbreakingly beautiful.
4- WHITE TEETH BY ZADIE SMITH: I can't even really describe why it's so good. Just read it.
5- THE AMBER SPYGLASS BY PHILLIP PULLMAN: It's the last book in the brilliant His Dark Materials Universe. Love love love it.
RUNNER UP: EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED BY JONATHAN SAFRON FOER: I've written all over my copy. In pen. Just little "LOL"s and "OMG"s and underlines. And not just because reading it made me want to write a paper.

Aaaannndd... Carpal Tunnel. Looks like this is going to have to be a two parter. FAVES PART 2: DREAMS COME TRUE will include 5 FAVORITE ALBUMS, 5 FAVORITE BADASS QUOTES, FIVE FAVORITE CELEBS, FIVE FAVORITE VILLAINS and MORE!

MARRY BOFF KILL!
If I may, I would like to start a blog tradition. A Bladition, if your will (and you will.) I would like to end every entry with a lively round of Marry Boff Kill. If you don't know how to play this, it's quite simple: in your comments (and you WILL comment) you give me three celebrities/historical figures/fictional characters/whatevskies and I will chose who I would marry, who I would boff and who I would kill. SInce this is my first entry, I will pick the first three and follow up at the end of my next, highly anticipated, entry.

Next Week on Marry Boff Kill: The Cast of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton and Rob McElhenney.

-L